Tut, Tut, looks like Rain...

I'm sitting at work (where I do almost all of my blogging) looking out the window at a blustry day, as Pooh Bear might say...A few friends are driving up to Salina, Kansas, to drop off some construction materials and they've told me its snowing hard up there, so hopefully, they make it home safely! Life has been good lately, full and good. I have had an adjustment in my work schedule where I get to work 3 or 4 nights a week and usually only 1 or 2 weekend shifts instead of 4 or 5 shifts and 3 weekend shifts, which I greatly apperciate!! Things are good at home too, we are getting all setteled in to our new home on Villa View...the painting is coming along slowly but surely in the upstairs room. There is one little thing gone awry, however, and I'm not sure how little it actually is. I have a friend, a very dear friend, a very dear, funny, sarcastic friend, who is posting hurtful statuses on facebook. Okay, stupid of me to get my feelings hurt, right? But I consider this girl one of my very best friends and she has listed her "only" 3 three friends BY NAME on FB and mine definitely isn't included. I don't know what to do...because I don't want to seem silly about it and confront her, but I don't want her to think I haven't noticed, both the facebook thing and the lack of calling/visiting going on between us, because I have felt it. Any Advice? I would greatly apperciate it...And since she is a fellow, blogger, maybe she'll read this post and we can take care of things...until then, I hope she knows I miss her and will keep calling till she answers!

Weekend Update

Its been a while since I've blogged, or rather, since I wrote on my own blog...I follow lots and lots and have so much fun doing it! The other day at school, I saw a girl who's blog I follow and I was so confused at how I knew her and why I would recognize her and then it hit me...It was funny, because I feel like I know quite a lot about her but have never even met her! Ahhh the internet...well lets see, since the last post, I have started making dinner again and have found some great blogs that give me new meal ideas, haven't tried any of them yet but they are in my mental lexicon of recipes to try sometime...http://atimetoeat.blogspot.com/...you should go look at it! Also since the last post, we have moved into a new, big, beautiful home on Villa View right next to family and family friends, so its pretty fun! I will try to post some pics the next time I blog of my new room that I share with hanny. We have a bedroom and a bigggg living room that is connected to it by a private enterance which we love! AND I have decided to transter (finally!) to the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville campus and couldn't be happier with that decision. I got the approval of my parents...She was easier to talk to about it than he was, but in the end I think we're all happy with my decision, especially ME! Basically I'm loving life right now, wich is very lovely and refreshing and I'm realzing every day that it is about CHOICE and attitude, not circumstance. Its a nice thing to be learning.

No more Nachos

So lately I've been really angry. Angry about where I am in life. I'm in a total in-between place. Between being a college student and being a mom. I have to take care of everyone, but there is no one to take care of me. I don't enjoy school. I don't enjoy playing mommy to three people who don't respect me as a mother, and they shouldn't. I just feel alone. And no matter what she says, they don't help and they don't seem to care. I cook every night, but I'm done. Tomorrow's menu: sandwiches. Screw you, fish tacos. You may be delicious, but no one else in this house cares anyway!

Just old light?

Cassius:
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."
Julius Caesar (I, ii)

In my Shakespearean Lit class we just finished reading "The Tragedy of Julius Caesar," which of course I read in high school. We were talking about the character of Cassius (I love the name Cassius but probably wouldn't ever name a kid that now ...) and about how he is really the only dynamic character in the whole play. Brutus doesn't change, Caesar doesn't change (just dies) and Marc Antony doesn't really change either. But Cassius does. He goes from being a boastful, prideful man bent on murdering Caesar because he is jealous and threatened and hates being ruled over by Caesar. He flirts with death himself at one point, going about flashing his bear chest in a lightening storm and not giving a damn about damnation. By the end of the play, he is superstitious to the point of being scared of birds and wanting a true god to worship. He takes stock in what he cannot know for certain and leans on signs to allow him a glimpse of his future.

So today my Shakespearean Lit prof was talking about the connectedness of the universe. He said that he didn't think many of us in the class probably read our horoscopes because it was widely considered unChristian (capital C intended). But he went on to say that because of the interconnectedness of the universe, there is no reason to dismiss "signs" that may allow us to "see" into the future, including the reading of the stars. I've always felt silly reading my horoscope until today, not that I plan my life around it or anything close to that, but now just maybe I'll be prepared for something! Besides, today it said my creative juices were flowing, which is a good thing! Haha

okay, 3 posts in 1 day is a little over-the-top...

May the best you have ever seen be the worst you will ever see.
May the mouse never leave your grain store with a tear drop in its eye.
May you always stay hale and hearty until you are old enough to die.
May you still be as happy as I always wish you to be.
---Scottish toast

I miss my friend Will a lot. A lot, a lot.

Lately

Lately, I haven't know where to turn. As I said over the summer,

"Should we go left or right?? left, right, left, right, which direction should i go?!? oh my gawhd it's like my life!!"

I'm already tired of school and I've been in for 4 weeks, one of which I didn't go except for Monday because of the snow...But then again, if I wasn't in school, what would I be doing? Working part time in a tanning salon and thats it? No thanks. And I'm sad, too. I feel like I'm missing out on stuff that is important, such as the whole "college experience." But then again, I have to ask my self, do I want the JBU experience? And honestly, I don't think that would work for me. Once again, as I often do when I find myself not on a school break, I don't really like going there. Its not the professors, its not the students, its me. Another thing, I'm sad that all of my really good friends are in relationships...except for Hanny and Michelle, I've gone from having 3 single best friends to 0. So thank god for Hanny and Michelle...everything is changing, and I don't like it too much. I just feel lonely and I think that just sucks!

Okay, I just walked away and cleaned a tanning bed and realized that I have a great life. I'm really not that lonely, yesterday and today, I got to see 3 of my most special friends (courtney, kayla, and aubs) and tomorrow I will see my dear friend (alex) and my ashley and my benn come back to siloam tomorrow, so thank goodness for all of those great people!! Seriously, I have the most amazing family for whom I am so grateful. I have a second family of friends that love me and that I love back, so so much. I don't have a boyfriend, but then again, i say it all the time, I don't really want want one. DAMN YOU VALENTINE'S DAY!!! That must be what this is all about, right???!?!? (Just say yes, okay?!)

the rest of my random things

I just realized that I am goofy and only gave myself 20 random things...so here are the last 5:

21. I love poetry.
22. One of my favorite things to eat is spaghetti.
23. I love cooking, and one day want to take some classes at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris.
24. I loved Lizzy McGuire, especially the movie, and all the Mary Kate and Ashley movies, too!25. I didn't go to school today because it was too icy. My school doesn't have snow days, but I give them to myself.