Monday, February 23, 2009

Just old light?

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."
Julius Caesar (I, ii)

In my Shakespearean Lit class we just finished reading "The Tragedy of Julius Caesar," which of course I read in high school. We were talking about the character of Cassius (I love the name Cassius but probably wouldn't ever name a kid that now ...) and about how he is really the only dynamic character in the whole play. Brutus doesn't change, Caesar doesn't change (just dies) and Marc Antony doesn't really change either. But Cassius does. He goes from being a boastful, prideful man bent on murdering Caesar because he is jealous and threatened and hates being ruled over by Caesar. He flirts with death himself at one point, going about flashing his bear chest in a lightening storm and not giving a damn about damnation. By the end of the play, he is superstitious to the point of being scared of birds and wanting a true god to worship. He takes stock in what he cannot know for certain and leans on signs to allow him a glimpse of his future.

So today my Shakespearean Lit prof was talking about the connectedness of the universe. He said that he didn't think many of us in the class probably read our horoscopes because it was widely considered unChristian (capital C intended). But he went on to say that because of the interconnectedness of the universe, there is no reason to dismiss "signs" that may allow us to "see" into the future, including the reading of the stars. I've always felt silly reading my horoscope until today, not that I plan my life around it or anything close to that, but now just maybe I'll be prepared for something! Besides, today it said my creative juices were flowing, which is a good thing! Haha

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

okay, 3 posts in 1 day is a little over-the-top...

May the best you have ever seen be the worst you will ever see.
May the mouse never leave your grain store with a tear drop in its eye.
May you always stay hale and hearty until you are old enough to die.
May you still be as happy as I always wish you to be.
---Scottish toast

I miss my friend Will a lot. A lot, a lot.


Lately, I haven't know where to turn. As I said over the summer,
"Should we go left or right?? left, right, left, right, which direction should i go?!? oh my gawhd it's like my life!!"
I'm already tired of school and I've been in for 4 weeks, one of which I didn't go except for Monday because of the snow...But then again, if I wasn't in school, what would I be doing? Working part time in a tanning salon and thats it? No thanks. And I'm sad, too. I feel like I'm missing out on stuff that is important, such as the whole "college experience." But then again, I have to ask my self, do I want the JBU experience? And honestly, I don't think that would work for me. Once again, as I often do when I find myself not on a school break, I don't really like going there. Its not the professors, its not the students, its me. Another thing, I'm sad that all of my really good friends are in relationships...except for Hanny and Michelle, I've gone from having 3 single best friends to 0. So thank god for Hanny and Michelle...everything is changing, and I don't like it too much. I just feel lonely and I think that just sucks!

Okay, I just walked away and cleaned a tanning bed and realized that I have a great life. I'm really not that lonely, yesterday and today, I got to see 3 of my most special friends (courtney, kayla, and aubs) and tomorrow I will see my dear friend (alex) and my ashley and my benn come back to siloam tomorrow, so thank goodness for all of those great people!! Seriously, I have the most amazing family for whom I am so grateful. I have a second family of friends that love me and that I love back, so so much. I don't have a boyfriend, but then again, i say it all the time, I don't really want want one. DAMN YOU VALENTINE'S DAY!!! That must be what this is all about, right???!?!? (Just say yes, okay?!)

the rest of my random things

I just realized that I am goofy and only gave myself 20 random here are the last 5:

21. I love poetry.
22. One of my favorite things to eat is spaghetti.
23. I love cooking, and one day want to take some classes at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris.
24. I loved Lizzy McGuire, especially the movie, and all the Mary Kate and Ashley movies, too!25. I didn't go to school today because it was too icy. My school doesn't have snow days, but I give them to myself.