Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Lately, I haven't know where to turn. As I said over the summer,
"Should we go left or right?? left, right, left, right, which direction should i go?!? oh my gawhd it's like my life!!"
I'm already tired of school and I've been in for 4 weeks, one of which I didn't go except for Monday because of the snow...But then again, if I wasn't in school, what would I be doing? Working part time in a tanning salon and thats it? No thanks. And I'm sad, too. I feel like I'm missing out on stuff that is important, such as the whole "college experience." But then again, I have to ask my self, do I want the JBU experience? And honestly, I don't think that would work for me. Once again, as I often do when I find myself not on a school break, I don't really like going there. Its not the professors, its not the students, its me. Another thing, I'm sad that all of my really good friends are in relationships...except for Hanny and Michelle, I've gone from having 3 single best friends to 0. So thank god for Hanny and Michelle...everything is changing, and I don't like it too much. I just feel lonely and I think that just sucks!

Okay, I just walked away and cleaned a tanning bed and realized that I have a great life. I'm really not that lonely, yesterday and today, I got to see 3 of my most special friends (courtney, kayla, and aubs) and tomorrow I will see my dear friend (alex) and my ashley and my benn come back to siloam tomorrow, so thank goodness for all of those great people!! Seriously, I have the most amazing family for whom I am so grateful. I have a second family of friends that love me and that I love back, so so much. I don't have a boyfriend, but then again, i say it all the time, I don't really want want one. DAMN YOU VALENTINE'S DAY!!! That must be what this is all about, right???!?!? (Just say yes, okay?!)

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